Shopping with the folks + 1

Shopping at Preston Market with your parents and aunty requires a lot of mental energy.
I was appointed the glorious tasks of chauffeur and trolley girl.
So during the process of conserving mental and physical energy and maning the goods I was made to wait by a small cd store with my dad while the other women browsed.

Here's a sample poster (and by far the best one of the lot):

'Lita', Im sure 'Kiss me deadly' and 'Back to the cave' were/are going to be massive hits. I can feel it.

Listening to shit music and doing nothing were physically and mentally tiring activities so by the end of it I was parched. My initial thoughts were, thankgoodness for this bubble cup place that also sold crap sushi and Asian food. Bubble cup, perfect. No! Wrong!

*WARNING* DO NOT BUY BUBBLE CUP FROM PRESTON MARKETS.
JUST BECAUSE PPL THERE ARE ASIAN DOESNT MEAN ITS THE SAME GOOD SHIT SOLD AT HIGHPOINT.

It was clearly inferior with large chunks of ice and 7 pieces of jelly that didnt fit properly through the straw. Waste of my money.

To add to insult - No 20 yr old SHOULD EVER be mistaken as her 57 yr old father's wife. Unless they're some kinda of gold digging whore or seriously dig that shit but man, wtf is wrong with these dirty bitches?

Just because...

Freedom and Justice are lovers.

Or


Had an acholol fueled 1 nighter to impress the boys.
Shame.

Another reason why kids SHOULD NEVER be left alone.
Bon Appetit!

P.s I have no idea how to make the top writing non-underlined. So bold is the new disguise. Looked for the button but it seems non existent. Fuck my technical illiteracy.

Public Holiday

There are pros and cons of working on a public holiday.

Pro: I made lots of these... and I calculated it to roughly equal what I'd make in a week, only this was in a day.

On the contrary...

Con: The scum of the northern burbs descended upon me with ridiculous demands and a "customer is always right" mentality.

Lets get this straight - the customer is NOT always right. Geddit?!
Just because you found it there doesnt mean you should get that $280 Logitech dock for $69! Someone CLEARLY shoved it there!

These people have nothing better to do and get real mad when they find out about the shortened trading hours. Fools! Spend some real time with your children, watch the race, learn how to read or get smashed because its the tradition on such public holidays.

Next time...Imma whip out the camera phone to catch the fashion faux pas committed today.

"Honey that maroon lip liner with pink lippy combo does not make your face look thinner"

Or

"Hey you, yes you with the white halter neck. Watch your balance because those tight ass denim leggings you wearing dont compliment your muffin top"

Seriously, scum women of the northern burbs. If your friend tells you that you look hot in those flared faceoff hipster jeans and gel'd back hair - then lose her coz she aint no friend of yours.

Thankgoodness for double pay. It makes such experiences bearable.

Bargin

My older brother text me last night at 10:10pm. (coz i originally posted this around 2am)
He bought a white Honda Integra 89' model done high 200 k's...




for....

FIVE-HUNDRED-DOW-LARS

thats right $500!!
full working electrics and even a sunroof.

they still sell online according to carsales for about $1000 - $2000.
he just needs to fix the water pump or radiator hose for about $300.

he's going to drive it and let his prelude rest while he repairs it back to its former glory.

Technical Noob

For the record.

I dont know how to get rid of the sexy Freddie Ljungberg at the bottom of my blogs.

He'd been there for a good couple of months now.
I still dont know how to take him off.

Tried going back to where I originally uploaded him but I cant seem to find the button that allows you to take him off and have no picture - cant deselect.

Any suggestions? lol

P.S The current Freddie pic was my ex-myspace layout image until someone reported me and had my entire profile wiped out. Bitches. That's art.

Gone

Success!

My dad was right.

EVERYTHING IS GONE.

(and it took less than 24hrs)

Free Stuff

I came home from work today to find my parents cleaning my side yard because to my knowledge, I think we're getting more concrete. (Slowly turning wog and eliminating the grass)

Outside my front gate was a dodgy chair, a pink table and a cage thing that my dad use to catch pigeons with.

I asked my dad why our stuff was simply sitting on the front yard (littering) and this was his response...

"We dont need it anymore, someone will take it"

A couple of hours later after coming back from safeway at 9:30pm...
The pink table was gone and the cage had been dragged 1/2 way up the pathway.

Yard/garage sales are sooooo last season.

Feeling Dumbed Down

I like reading other people's blogs.
Some may argue that it's part of the stalking regime that we've (friends and I) have developed in conjunction with the lovely help of facebook.

After reading several blogs and checking out music and interesting reviews that other people post it leaves me kinda empty.

And then jealousy sets in.

There was once a time where I loved to write, about anything.
Now I feel that I lack the eloquence, the charisma that they write with.

(Insert sad face here)

Inked

I want to get a tattoo. Most likely for my 21st.
I already know where I want it.
Now I just have to find a design that I like enough to have on my body permanently.

With a morbid fear of needles. Im bracing myself already.

Here are examples of shit I DONT want...

OR

Google this shit. Some people are sooo stupid.

Smashed Nose

Last night.

I smashed a wall in the dark with my face.
By the time my hand had reached for the light switch my nose & the wall had become acquainted.

To be technical, it was the wooden door frame where my light switch is and if you've been to my house then Im pretty sure you can visualise the wooden door frames. I think that's worse than the wall and I use the word smash because it wasn't a simple walk-into-the-wall situation.

In a nutshell: my mother and I were having a heated argument on how I take care of her insurance paperwork and in a fit of anger and frustration I decided to walk angrily to my bedroom in the dark to get the rest of the paperwork and to blow off some fumes.

So I rushed off and you'd think for someone who'd lived in this house for 99% of her life that she'd know where to walk.
Well I did know where to walk. I just walked too far to the right. In the dark.

And then there was this MASSSIIVVVEEE SMASH NOISE. Like someone had tipped over a massive bookcase.

Immediately along with the splitting headache there was also blood everywhere, massive tears streaming down my eyes and me screaming something along the lines of "FFFUUCCCKKKK!!! and MMUUUMMMM!!". And like my fb status had indicated, yes I was at that point and for a good 30mins afterwards bleeding from my two nostrils simultaneously.

So instead of letting me reduce the swelling with frozen peas. My mum kept putting some soothing cream on my nose thats used for the treatment of sunburn, itches, blisters etc. It did nothing for my squashed nose but it made her feel better because it was going to heal my non existent open wound.

This morning.
I woke up.
Looked in the mirror.

And my nose was fkn TWO TIMES its normal size.

I had work at 9am.

FML x infinity

Some people annoy the shit out of me.

7:30am start.

Here's a list of the shit things that annoyed me today:

- had to show a man how to use the photocopy machine - ended up doing the whole thing for him

- lady asked for labels, directed her to isle 3 second 1/2 on the left hand side - she went up aisle 2 and later told me I told her the wrong isle

- tried to show a couple how to print photos - ended up getting called every 2mins and eventually did the whole thing for them

- had to show a lady how to use the self serve copier when she cbf'd waiting 20mins for 300 copies, she ended up taking at least 45mins on the self serve coz the dumb woman didnt take staples out and her papers kept getting jammed

- had to listen to her yell in a bogan voice at her kids every 5mins coz they kept touching shit and running round the store

- later had to mop up the 2 tea bags and spilt coffee her son tipped all over our floor and on display digital photo frames worth over $200 (they didnt tell us either - how do i know this? b/c i thought i was being nice when i showed her son how to make himself a hot chocolate. i was wrong. the mess was found right after they left. how convenient.)

- found more hidden coffee with a shit load of sugar mixed with water and milk in btwn the kodak machines and the digital photo frames - had to clean that up too

- went through 50 different types of pens with an ungrateful bitch who demanded i look for everything on a list her son gave her - i didnt. she got narky and i left.

- got harrassed by a man who bought a printer but tried to return it after our returns date.

- helped to take out a chair for a customer to have them park on the other side of the parking lot and not help me lift the damn thing into their boot (the box clearly shows 2 ppl lifting it) in the friggn cold ass weather

lots more shit things happened but these are the ones that topped my list.

All in a day's work.

Sleepless

Fuck.

I think there's something wrong with me. (whats new?)
As of lately I've been trying my best to regulate my sleeping habits because of my uni timetable and because I'm trying to clean up my life of the non ciggies, non drugs and alcohol (kidding on the alcho).

Fewer days = earlier hours = need more sleep.

The past couple of nights I've been sleeping before 12 in hope of being able to wake up at 7 or even 8am. (This is a great achievement in my books seeing as my body's use to an average of 10 or so hours of sleep) One night I stayed awake until 1 - something lying in my bed after jumping in around 11-something and I didnt even eat anything before I slept.

I know I'm deficient in however many categories there are; iron, protein and iron? But I cant really be bothered waiting for 3 friggn hours, surrounded by real sick people to be seen for 10mins, then told to do A and repeat the whole process again.

This self-help thing I've got going hasnt really worked at all. I still feel like shit when I get up early. I'll give it till the end of this semester because I have to and hopefully next semester wont be as bad.

Next step? Healthy eating. pfftz. [ Baby steps - "healthier eating"]

(Unknown word: aka Diet)

Unknown word is not in my vocabulary.

Kids

Girls arent totally innocent.

So while the boys are "pissing up the wall"

we're throwing wet tissue balls on the ceiling.

Either way, all children are delinquents.

Wanker

To the fucker in the ute,

You ran over some poor womans laptop today.
But you were too busy speeding away to give a shit.

Hair

I've always been pedantic about my hair.
Hardly ever satisfied after a hair cut.
Always wanting to do something with it.

I need change.
Not a dramatic cut short. (NOOO WAYY!! not with my moon face)

But im mega annoyed atm at the rate that my hair grows!
My fringe grows like no tomorrow when i dont want it too, but now that i want it to grow it doesnt seem to budge!!!

Feels like im watching a kettle boil.
Patience.

Should be good in time for summer =]
(Hopefully =S )

Annnnddd.... It's a Girl!!

Yesterday at approximately 9-10pm, we welcomed into the world baby Isabella Vang.
Number 7 in the Vang-Yang household.

OMMMMMMGGGGG!!!!

On the plus side...she's ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!! She's a tiny size 00000 (i didnt know there could be five size 0 sizes!!) and only cried when I rubbed her tummy. (sorry).

You must be thinking...7? 7 children? wtf? I know. But the only thing you can really do is love each and every one of them.
Now, when I had heard of her name, honestly I wasnt very happy. Why you may ask? Because Amy and I, for the past month have fought valiantly over what to name her (i promise her parents didnt mind).

Amy wanted Violet and I wanted to name her Charlotte.

However, at the last minute my other cousins from half way across the country snuck in and called her "Isabella". Now Isabella is a cute name... but... there's already another girl here in the family circle called "Isabelle". WTF?

I guess I was more annoyed at the fact that I've physically spent the past 8 years, babysitting, watching countless spongebob episodes, hours playing at the park, hours shopping, hours making cup cakes and soooo much more with these kids where my cousins from up north struggle to find the time to visit when a new baby arrives. Now they've already named 5 out of the 7 kids (i got to name Dylan) and now they have the 7th. I know it shouldnt be a competition but i cant help but feel a little ripped off. It's like the feeling of dissappointment and hostility when you've come home after a long day and you saved something really good for last the night before only to find that someone had already eaten it.

Showering the kids with made in china toys when they have a ba-zillion each year from you at christmas and their birthdays doesnt equate to love. Sure I want them to have toys and what not, but I've watched them grow, listened to their stories about school or about the kid who didnt invite them to their birthday party and taught them how to do things as opposed to simply inundating them with toys and just jumping in at convenient times to remind everyone that yes I do exist and im "family".







I LOVE ALL MY BABIES (aka. baby cousins).
I cant wait to see what Isabella will be like when shes a little older.

As annoying as they can be.
I'd really miss not waking up to a weekend with the kids and their massive smiles at my bedside eagerly awaiting what I've got planned for the day.

F My Life

As of lately...
I've been in a shit place.
Not depressed, just feeling a little down I guess?

Like most Tuesdays, I took the train home with Kevin today.
While catching up on what's been going on in each others lives...
Kevin introduced me to this new website...

www.fmylife.com

(yes, the "f" stands for fuck ummm maaa! lol)

In a nutshell its a site where people post all the shit things that happen to them. It's kinda like that site that Ann told us about that shows peoples failed youtube clip attempts.

Here's a taste of what brightened up my day: (as is on the site)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML

Today, I was on the London underground. My feet were aching, so I really wanted a seat. A mother and child got off the train and I heard her say, 'why didn't you wait?' Going to sit down I wondered what he was supposed to wait for, then proceeded to sit in his (still warm) piss. FML

People also rate these under "i agree, your life if f***ed" or "you deserve that one".

Thankyou Kevin.

I havent laughed and smiled so much in a while. (^__________^)

p.s I only laughed at genuine ones, there are some sad ones.

Xtreme Adventures I

Today...

I went to work.
Came home.
Went for an awesome bike ride.

On the bike ride...
- vy and i trained it from roxie station to glenroy.
(it was my 1st time ever! lol)
- met alex "behind" NQR - lol
- missed both his msgs.
- picked up dwayne from his house.
- vy and alex switched bikes 2x
- enjoyed the scenary and company
- the boys saw my battle wounds from sat night.
- took funny ass pics under the bridge.
- rode some more.
- hung out at the park and relived childhood games ie. off ground chasy on the playground where no one can touch the ground bc its hot lava and you'll die.
- tried to kick a kid off the ramp but couldnt
- completed a biggest loser challenge pushing our bikes uphill to get back to civilisation
- took romantic hardcore sunset shots on top of that hill lol
- rewarded ourselves with a lardy dinner - chicken machine YUM!!!
- had a great convo
- trained it home to roxie
- rode to meadow heights - vy stacked it lol
- got told off by my mum for coming in after dark.

overall... it was AWESOME.

(why didnt we do this on the summer hols? lol)

I'm suppose to be doing h/w right now. But it's been such an action packed night.

While my sister Amy was driving home from uni tonight, she was smacked by a car.
Now accidents do occur and in some instances anger would not be appropriate, but this instance screams pitch forks and fire!! (maybe not as dramatic and as obsolete it is you should get the picture)

I openly and honestly admit I have anger management issues when driving or as Kevin puts it "aggressive driving" and it's something I'm not proud of and am working on but who doesnt these days? People do the most craziest things on the road that it's not funny. As angry as I will get I still know the difference between right and wrong, I still know my responsibilites as a driver and that driving is something that is to be taken seriously. Unfortunately and obviously this does not apply to the majority of p-platers in this area.

This is breifly how the situation went down...

Driving home, there were four cars on this suburban street with speed humps - which indicates slow down obviously. Amy's car was second (if we were to visualise them driving in a line or down a street) and they had just gone over a speed bump. Then out of the blue, the idiot who drove a really really old ford laser with the really round hatch back decides he wants to overtake three cars...the car in front of Amy, Amy's car and the car behind her (mind you they were fourth in line - overtake = a big no no). While attempting this act of negligence and absolute stupidity, the p-plater see's another car heading in the opposite direction and swirves back into the lane he was trying to overtake - smacking Amys car in the process. What a bloody idiot!!!

To make matters worse, once the car in the opposite direction had passed, the car at fault sped up and did a runner. Prick. Coward. Cunt. P-plater.

So stereotypical. Young drivers who can too easily obtain a permit and claim they're the king of the road even with shit box cars. WRONG. Driving comes with responsibilites such as being a safe driver, knowing the road rules and accountability, especially accountability.

One of the most frustrating things is that such spineless p-platers give us alllllllllllllllllllllll a bad name!!!

I dont think government millions invested in all driving ads especially targeting young drivers are being effective. The mentality of "it'll never happen to me" is ingrained in their minds. Perhaps the only way to learn is the hard way. Pity in most of those instances, it's the casuality who suffers the more.

I'm have soooo much more respect for the civic after tonight and am thankful that it absorbed the impact and shielded Amy from any injuries.

Medieval Madness

I'm currently watching the end of the movie Role Models.

Yes it was full of tacky dirty jokes (some funny).

But now, as a result of watching this movie...

I want to go to a Medieval Battle where I can be part of a clan/country, dress up in a knightly costume with a fake sword and shield and fight with others.
(Fake fight of course with fake deaths and everything!)
There's even rankings with Kings and Queens. I want to be a knight with an awesome sword, shield and logo lol


But I dont think I'm going to match the die hard medieval enthusiasts who live and breathe history.

(Hello possible theme for a future party???) =]

Vaccination

While at work today I was able to grab a few moments to think...
Amongst the chaos of repeatedly telling people what our operating hours were and that the stock on the floor in the clearance bins was all we had left, I decided to finish what I had started and get the second cervical cancer vaccine.

See, early last year, I thought I'd be pro-active and go get it "while it was free" but after the first one, I missed the second and only realised after wards that if you miss one dosage then you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN.

Whats shit about this is... I have a morbid fear of needles.
Since birth, I have only ever gotten a needle if compulsory ie. travel vaccination, flu shot (because my mum went got mega paranoid and insisted everyone get one in her presence), tetanus shot at school (because they ticked you off a list) etc.

I did earlier this month, make an appointment to get the vaccine, but when I got there, after waiting over 30mins for a nurse and psyching myself I was finally informed of the fact that, that nurse was not fully qualified to administer vaccines on the weekend. The full time nurse who worked super restricted hours during the week was the one to see. What a waste of time!!

Despite all this I decided to book a super quick appointment with the nurse today to get the second dosage of the cervical cancer vaccine. The funny thing is, while making the appointment I had to clarify who I was twice - me, the 19 year old May, not the 50-something they also had on file (because they always seem to get us mixed up). To make matters even more interesting, the nurse who was on duty was the same nurse that I my original appointment with that weekend. I guess she finally finished whatever it was she had to obtain in order to be able to administer the vaccine. I tried to lighten the mood up by breathing deeply (perhaps freakishly too heavy lol) and trying to crack a lame joke "ohh...im back..ha...ha" - the nurse didnt reply. Nothing.

Everything was textbook right down to the "please lift your sleeve".
She didnt even ask me to stay for at least 5mins just in case there were any side effects.

So at the end I felt mega proud of myself...no tears shed at all lol
But to those whose future careers lie in such industries that require some form of physical care ie. nurses - please make an effort to show some form of humanity no matter how stupid, ignorant, obnoxious a lot of people may be. Good word of mouth is priceless.

For the sake of having one

Bloody oaaaaaaaathhhh!!

Made one so I could comment without having to chuck anonymous with my initials or in alex's case...nothing coz i did even have an id.


May.